KO SAMUI - THAILAND

We stayed on Samui for six days. When we arrived by boat it was hot hot hot. We had made a reservation at a place on Lamai beach which is the second largest resort on the island. Generally it was OK but it was low season and so pretty quiet. Our bungalow was nice and quiet set in a garden a few metres from the beach and with a pool too. We spent the first day by the pool and lazing around doing not much. In the evening we decided to have a walk along the beach to find a place to eat. As I said it was fairly quiet, so near where we were staying there wasn't much going on, but about a kilometre down the beach we could see some lights and taking our torch I convinced Ruth it wasn't far. It turned out to be a bit farther than we had thought especially when half way across the sand a torrential downpour began so that by the time we reached our destination we were completely drenched. I sat and had dinner in the restaurant with my shirt off. Incidentally I ate the hottest meal I have ever eaten there. Chicken with chilli and holy basil leaves. It must have had about thirty bird eye chillis in it and it wasn't so much pleasant as a struggle. Hey Ho.

Palm Trees on Lamai Beach

Ruth sees the funny side after getting soaked on Lamai beach

The next day we decided that we wanted to find somewhere else to stay as it was too quiet we took a trip to the main Samui beach called Chaweng which in contrast was bustling. There were loads of resorts, shops and bars and lots of people on the beach. It was more expensive there and we ended up booking into a place which could only be described as a shithole. The room smelled, the bathroom door wouldn't shut, it had a forest theme on the walls and it generally felt quite measly however it did have a little balcony to sit at and was near the beach and was much cheaper than other places we had enquired at so we went for it. In point of fact the owner of the bungalows was a lady who looked like Maradonna, she was extremely obnoxious and seemed to take a 'service with a grimace' approach, so much so that when we checked out two days later and I gave her the key, thanked her, and said goodbye her only response was to give me a disgusted look, slam the key on the counter and turn away. Just for the record don't stay at Best Beach Bungalows.

Our astoundingly bad wallpaper at Best Beach Bungalows

During our stay we went on the 'Funny Day Safari' which took us in a military style jeep up into the hills of Samui and also around some of the isalnd sights. We stopped at the grandmother and grandfather rocks which are supposed to look like a man's winkle and a lady's fanjita. Most amusing it was with titters and giggles from all directions I can tell you. Next we went to a crocodile farm / elephant sanctuary / monkey tricks school. Where basically you walk through some cages with crocodiles in, get on the back of an elephant for half an hour and then watch a monkey shin up a tree and throw a coconut down. It was mostly ditressing as the animals didn't seem very happy. But I saw an elephant kick a football..........wow can you imagine it, an elephant kicking a football. What next a parrot playing snooker, or a horse on stilts? A bit rediculous and not to my taste really.

Grandfather Rock...it looks like a, oh I'm embarassed....hehe!

We carried on after this up into the hills on very steep and windy tracks, some of them just mud, but the jeep was very powerful and didn't struggle. Our driver said to us before we started this stretch, "Don't worry, you might think, 'why is he driving so fast?' but sometimes I have to drive fast to get up the hill." Personally I think he liked driving fast but it was great fun in the back as we were all over the place. We stopped for lunch at a viewpoint restaurant, the view was great, and then back into the jeep for more driving in the hills. This drive was even more bumpy than before and more fun. The driver stopped a couple of times to grab a machete out of his glove box, shin up a tree, cut some exotic fruits down and hand them out, I think by now you are getting an impression of this guy. He was a bit out there. The climax of the drive was a huge ramp on the top of the hill which he took us over at about 40mph before slamming the brakes on at the edge of a cliff - everyone screaming with fear by this point. Apart from he himself who was laughing his head off. We went down from the hill to the Big Buddha which is a thirty foot high golden Buddha on Samui, it was pretty impressive and you get great views from there so was a relaxing end to the day.

The foul smelling Durian Fruit which grows on Samui and SE Asians can't get enough of

There endeth the fun on Samui because for the next two days I was sick as a dog. Laid up in my room, which incidentally was a better place we had found in Chaweng, I can only describe this illness as disgusting and will not go into the details but suffice to say you wouldn't have wanted to be there. Thanks to Ruth, who looked after me lots, I was better in a couple of days and we went to Ko Phangnan.