BANGKOK THAILAND

Well we arrived Bangkok at a relatively quiet and calm Airport -not what I expected really. No-one tried to extort money from me or rifle through my bags, we were through passport control and outside within 30 minutes. Not exactly proving the horror stories that you hear of. The one daft thing we did do was order a taxi from the stand just outside the airport door. This cost 700 baht (about 10 quid) and whilst the service was good we could have got a regular taxi for about about 100 baht. You live and learn. We were staying at the Century Park Hotel which is the epitomy of style, class and sophistication only the best, of course, for Yamma every time. Or should I say this time! The room was so big that Ruth did a celebratory run and several jumps around. It had a walk in wardrobe with real slippers and gowns, air con, a huge glass walk in shower and more toiletries than you can shake a stick at. (Why do they give you crappy toothbrushes though?) Good value at about 35 quid a night through Asiarooms.com. This sort of luxury was of course an indulgence which we booked six months before in England and not something you can afford to do for a year! But it was worth it for the rooftop pool with waterfall and jacuzzi attached.

We were only staying for three days before travelling around the country and we were pretty tired after spending the last month constantly on the move so generally we didn't do a great deal and hung around the hotel quite a bit. We did however visit Patpong on the first night we were there. This is the main red light district with gogo bars and massage parlours all around. Girls who barely look old enough to be finishing their GCSE's line the streets outside every place. We must have been asked about 20 times whether we wanted to see a ping pong show. I'm not totally sure what we looked like walking around but I'm fairly convinced that we looked like a normal 28 year old man and his girlfriend so why they would think we would want to see it I don't know. Anyway I couldn't talk Ruth into it! The whole place is teeming with people at night and a loud market selling allsorts crowds the streets that are lined with the aforementioned bars. Its quite a crazy but not that pleasant a place and I think that some of the people (and their kids) that were there were a bit shocked. I wouldn't recommend it as a family destination.

We generally found Bangkok to be quite confusing, we tried to find a bar to sit in during the day but outside of an area called Banglamphu (the other side of town to where we were staying) they don't seem to exist. This meant that we spent a lot of time wandering around and hanging out in internet cafes. The skytrain was the main resource for us when travelling around the city because there was a stop near the hotel, although because its so huge we didn't get to see a great deal of Bangkok this way. We did visit the Chatuchak Market on our final day which is a mindblowing eight thousand stall metropolis of a market. It pretty much sells everything you could ever think of and is a great place to buy souvenirs, clothes and food. It so huge though you need to have an idea of what you want before you go. We staggered around the tiny lanes full of stalls for about three hours before finally giving in to heat exhaustion, fatigue and deafness and went back to the quiet peaceful hotel with air con, cocktails and Italian restaurant.

Bangkok train station

One thing I want to mention about my stay at the Century Park Hotel is breakfast. It truly has the greatest breakfast I have ever eaten. I was getting through three courses every morning. I would start with a salad of pineapple, watermelon, papaya and grapefruit together with a selection of fine fruit juices. Moving on to the cooked selection I would have bacon, sausage, eggs, hash browns, beans, tomatoes and toast and I would round off my morning munch with a danish pastry a cup cake and two coffees. You aint gonna eat all day after that. Until lunch.

A little bit drunk on the train...and sporting my new haircut... which cost less than a pound!!!

We took the train from Bangkok to Chumphon, it took fourteen hours overnight and I think I probably had one two many Chang beers as you can see from the picture. When we arrived at four in the morning and had to wait until six for a boat I wasn't too happy. Our destination was Ko Tao the smallest and most remote of the inhabited islands on the Gulf Coast and after a three hour boat journey, on which everyone looked wrecked from over travel, we finally got there.

Ruth despairs at my despicable behaviour